Disclaimer: The point of this post is NOT to bash catholicism or advocate christianity. It is merely a record of my experience with both denominations.
I was raised in a catholic household. My family goes to Mass every Sunday. I say grace before every meal. And I attended Sunday school from first to eighth grade. I was the stereotypical catholic girl, but that was just it. Everything I did was out of habit. And the environment I grew up with enforced that mentality. People kneel when they are told to kneel. They stand when they are told to stand. And they sit when they are told to sit. No one even sings at my church, which may not seem like a big deal but it’s sign of insecurity and lack of trust within the community of people in my church. I see it in the glassy eyed looks of the people who come to Sunday mass. It’s no longer about coming to worship God, but to keep up appearances of being “catholic”. That being said, I’m sure not all catholic churches are like this. In fact, I’d like to think that the majority of them aren’t but that kind of optimism isn’t enough for me to continue calling myself a catholic. And you could argue that my love for God should be enough to counteract the bad examples, but it’s not. If I continue on this path I don’t see myself becoming closer to God, along with the fact that I’ve come to disagree with some of their beliefs.
As a result, I’ve started to explore Christianity via two christian fellowships at my school (chi alpha and gcf). And I can honestly say it was the best decision I’ve ever made for my spiritual life. People are dedicated to living their lives in accordance to the Lord. They are passionate about the word and they desire to be enwrapped in His love. Going to both of their meetings, was truly an eye opening experience. It has rejuvenated my Faith and given me hope.
So what does that make me now? I am (and always have been) a child of God. Only now, I classify myself as a christian. And I hope to live my life in accordance to His plan and learn to be more accepting and loving towards people.